A dose of you!

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
—Deuteronomy 31:8

Late one night, many years ago, Cathy and I went into our daughter’s room; she was about 7 at the time and sick with a cold and fever.

"Here is a dose of medicine that will help you feel better!" I said.

She looked at me and said; "I don’t want the medicine, I want a dose of you and Mummy. Will you please stay in my room till I go to sleep?"

A dose of you!

You have each experienced this request in one form or another…a child, a friend, family member, a co-worker, even a physician partner. "Will you stay a bit? What I really need is a 'dose of you,' your voice, your thoughts, your presence!"

When you realize their need and are present to them, not as a functionalist (one performing a task), but as the unique and gifted person you are, something special happens when listening and caring transform the moment.

In the Journal of Cardiovascular Nursing; JH Anderson provides the following definition of presence: "presence is an inter-subjective encounter between a nurse and a patient in which the nurse encounters the patient as a unique human being in a unique situation and chooses to spend her/himself on the patient's behalf." Presence is a process that is enacted in moments or over days, weeks, and years [Anderson JH. The impact of using nursing presence in a community heart failure program. J Cardiovasc Nurs. 2007;22(2):89-94.]

Sue Wingate, in a commentary in the same journal, notes: "Much of what we do does indeed depend on the relationships we develop with patients and their significant others. On a regular basis, we accompany patients on their journey along the trajectory of their illness, but we likely have not labeled this as 'presence,' as this author has taken the time to do. That is why this article makes us stop to examine what it is we do with patients and take a closer look at the concept of presence.
"When a nurse
Encounters a patient
Something happens
What occurs is never a neutral event
A pulse taken
Words exchanged
A touch/Resuscitation
Two persons
Are never
The same"

How often do you enter another person’s world? It can be in the hallway, cafeteria, meeting room, treatment room, even your patient’s bedroom. It can be for a moment or an hour, time really doesn’t matter. The need is always there, the need to connect at a personal level. The level that encourages, comforts, inspires, supports, affirms, makes safe…you get the picture. What matters is more than what you went to do; like my wife and I went to give medicine. What matters is the connection that makes the moment human, meaningful and hopeful.

A dose of you is what is needed!