Mister ... MISTER ... !

The greatest among you must be a servant.
—Matthew 23:11

Ever had a person talk through you, around you, over you and generally ignore you... like you don’t even exist? Not much fun is it? Remember feeling insignificant, ignored, irrelevant, or even, in the way?

Recognizing, respecting, and honoring the people in your presence is one of the joys of caring ... the work of love. Every time you recognize each person in your presence you demonstrate and they experience a fundamental human longing and desire to belong. How easy is it to forget this most basic of human desires and to deny it to the very people you are trying to help? Forgetting this most basic act of human kindness and respect is more common that you might acknowledge.


Think about the busy schedule you keep; the rushed consults, the phone calls, e-mails, pages and call lights. All of these can get in the way of basic kindness and effective communication. Dealing with only the urgent, most pressing items often causes you to miss the important...just like it did for me this past weekend.

Meeting our "new" hospital associates at the annual picnic was fun. I was focused on names, places of work and making connections. "Hello, my name is Peter, one of the new folk joining you in the merger."

I met Teresa who chairs the committee and Michelle, one of the 16 members of the Employees' Activities Committee. Teresa had her granddaughter Kylie with her. I introduced Teresa and Michelle to my wife Cathy, and to John and Carol Harding, their new CEO and his wife.

Then I felt something tugging on my shirt. "Mister....MISTER! My name is Kylie!"

I looked down and saw the pretty blue eyes of a young child looking with determination far larger than her 48 inches of height or 6 years of age that said very clearly, "Hey, I’m important too!" I stopped in mid sentence and included my new young friend Kylie in the introductions to Cathy, John and Carol. Each of them shook her hand.

With each shake her face beamed more and more!In the midst of my busy-ness, I had left a young child on the outside of a big people conversation.

How about you? Who is unintentionally left on the outside of your conversations, longing to be included or at least acknowledged and affirmed? In a few moments you will be doing what you do every day ... talking with, and caring for patients, families, associates and physician partners. Make sure you acknowledge and include every one! Especially those who might think they are on the outside. Help them know they are important and that they belong!